Milk-O-Rama

Drawing+by+Ian+Lamont+%2722

Drawing by Ian Lamont ’22

What is your preferred type of milk?

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Peter – Whole Milk

The ideal type of milk varies depending on the consumer’s criteria, but judging by conventional factors such as taste, health benefits, and versatility, whole milk is the best variety. Its creamy, sweet, and natural flavor is delicious at both hot and cold temperatures.

Although many are quick to decry whole milk as the least healthy dairy option, its abundance of Omega-3 fatty acids relative to other types of milk lowers the drinker’s risk of heart disease and cancer. Low-fat alternatives to traditional whole milk are also watery, tasteless, and visually unappealing. Cookies, breakfast cereals, and other foods typically eaten with milk benefit from whole milk’s viscous consistency; its thickness compliments solid food without making a watery mess. Delicious, nutritious, and adaptable, whole milk is the best milk for all drinkers.

Almond Milk – Margot

Disclaimer: I’m pretty much indifferent to milk and I really don’t often drink it unless it’s in cereal. However, although I acknowledge that you, the reader, might find my opinion *nutty,* almond milk is the way to go. First of all, it’s a great alternative for people who are lactose intolerant but still want to enjoy dairy with their meal. Almond milk also has some natural health benefits: Medical News Today states that “almond milk is naturally rich in several vitamins and minerals, especially vitamin E.” Another benefit is the trademark taste. Almond milk brings a nice thick texture and sweet flavor to coffee, cereal, and more. Lastly, it is not only a lovely beverage but a fun household project. It’s actually quite possible to make your own almond milk — all you need is almonds, water, and a straining cloth. Can you do this with any dairy milk? Didn’t think so. 

Choccy Milk – C.C.

Milk and honey has been emblematic of the Promised Land for millenia. If I make it to the Great Beyond, you best believe I will be partaking in the most hedonistic lactose option on the market. What fits the bill better than choccy milk?

Creamy, sweet, and evocative of the simpler days of childhood, choccy milk is unequivocally a king of not just milks, but among all beverages. First of all, it’s obtained naturally, organically, and humanely from brown cows. Second of all, this is one milk all mammals can get behind; when I placed a glass of whole milk and a glass of choccy in front of my dog, she chose the choccy four out of five times. Lastly, and most importantly, choccy milk just simply tastes the best.

Patrick – 2% Milk

2% has the optimal level of fattiness in a milk, because it retains a level of creaminess and milky taste without being overwhelmingly thick. 2% strikes the perfect balance between all other forms of dairy milk; skim and 1% are too thin, flavorless, and watery, and whole milk is so fatty that I can’t drink more than a sip of it. 2% is also the best for many uses of milk. In cereal, for its subtle dairy flavor and pleasing yet gentle creaminess; in chocolate milk, as a counterbalance to the rich and strong flavors of the chocolate; in smoothies, once again for its less in-your-face flavor. Skim milk and whole milk do have their place however – my water bottle and the trash can.