As high school students, we must ensure that we nurture our delicate minds. Studies show that well-rested students have increased focus, mood, and overall academic performance. One might suggest that you stop those late-night Netflix binges, manage your time better, or just go to bed earlier, but the solution is actually quite simple. Sleep at school! Here are the top 5 places you should sleep at FSS.

1. THE MEETING HOUSE:

Pro →  The meeting house has the perfect ambiance for sleeping because, not only is silence ensured, but the benches will do wonders for your posture! The dim lighting will softly lull you to sleep and a friendly handshake will wake you up.

Con → This might not be the location for you if you are a sleep talker (unless you have a very spiritual subconscious), but don’t worry, there are plenty of other places to come!

Extra Tip: try to get one of the pillows.

2. ON ZOOM:

Pro → This is a very versatile option. You can do this from anywhere in the building (or even at home for you iSelect learning students ;)). 

Con → This one gets dicey if your teacher starts doing rapid-fire trivia. Use with caution.

Extra Tip: you can always use the infamous “internet issues” line as an excuse.

3. THE POOL:

Pro →  Want to recreate the classic Titanic “never let me go” scene right before drifting off to sleep? (I mean who wouldn’t??). Grab a dryland mat (and obviously a sleeping buddy to set the scene) and float away into the distance.

Con → Unfortunately only one person will fit on the mat… (tough decisions, I know)

Extra Tips: make sure you are extremely still while sleeping (or just know how to swim)

4.)  LOWER SCHOOL CLASSROOMS:

Pro → Recreate that authentic, cozy feeling in the lofts of the lower school classrooms with what seems like endless pillows. It’ll be just like you’re in bed at home!

Con → Children. 

Extra Tip: bring a blanket from home for extra coziness

5. THE FACULTY BATHROOMS:

Pro→  When you think of great places to take a little nap, naturally you think of the toilet, but which toilet is really worth your time? The faculty bathrooms! If the sheer mystery of what’s lying behind the forbidden doors isn’t enough, think about what they must be hiding in there…(that premium two-ply??)

Con→ Who knows what’s in there? You may never be able to use the regular bathrooms again.

Extra Tips: practice impressions of your teachers just in case someone walks in and wakes you. 

Disclaimer: This is a satirical piece and is not factually accurate.