Friends Select School will replace its annual graduation ceremony with a homecoming dance in the basketball gym, said Dean of Students Norman Bayard in an email to families on Friday, April 9th. 

“Although Graduation is a school tradition, the Administrative Council was moved by students’ proposal for the implementation of a homecoming dance,” said Norman Bayard. “It is so heartwarming to see students come together for positive change in their community.”

In a poll sent to members of the class of 2021, 94% of seniors opposed the change. However, the class was ultimately unable to collectively dispute the decision due to an untenable disagreement over some students’ push for caps and gowns at graduation.

The dance will run from 7:00 pm to 9:00 on Friday, May 21st. The Spirit Club has announced a theme of “chairs.”

Disclaimer: This is a satirical piece and is not factually accurate.