The Quaker Take: Advice Column #3


Image Courtesy of KKRC

Do you believe in new year’s resolutions? If so, what are your goals for the new year?

“No, just do it tomorrow. Resolutions don’t work. Gradually make it a habit.” 

I get this mindset! It’s really hard for some people to stick with resolutions. Though they might sound silly or pointless, sometimes setting self goals helps you to feel better about yourself, even if you don’t end up completing them — it’s important to have confidence in yourself. Resolutions are a way to motivate yourself to do the things that feel hard! Especially with all that is going on in the world right now, sometimes a resolution can be a good way to direct your energy elsewhere (for example: simply telling yourself that you will try to get outside at least once a day), but remember that it’s ok if it doesn’t happen! It’s not worth beating yourself up over, just something to help you direct your motives! Good luck.

“They are useful to encourage people to do things they have been meaning to do.”

I definitely agree with this! I think the beginning of the new year is a great time for self-reflection and goal setting. With how hectic the rest of the year can be it’s very easy to get swept away in everything and forget about really taking care of oneself. The new year offers a checkpoint where everyone can collectively reflect on the past year and think of ways that they would like to better themselves in the future. I think there is something to be said about creating multiple points in the year where you set up time to focus on yourself and get things done that you have been meaning to do, and it doesn’t just have to be once a year. I use the beginning of every new season to do this, and I find it very helpful to make sure that goals I set for myself on January 1st don’t get completely dismissed and pushed to the back burner by February. 

How are you feeling about returning to school? Do you think we will be able to do it in a safe and productive way for students and faculty?

“I’m excited to go back, but I’m not sure if I trust our community to take precautions.”

I completely understand where you are coming from. Although going back to school and resuming some sort of normalcy is very exciting, there is definitely some uncertainty and nerves involved. This is a time where we really need to have faith and trust in our community and have honest conversations with ourselves. I think this starts with self-reflection — everyone at Friends Select needs to decide if they will be able to strictly adhere to the safety protocols that the school is asking us to follow and then make the decision on whether or not they should return to in-person school in February. I know that the school is taking every safety precaution necessary to guarantee a safe reopening, but it really is up to students and faculty to do their part in making sure everyone in the building and their family members stay safe. If you are having doubts about your safety I suggest talking to your family and an adult in the Friends Select community to decide whether or not returning to in-person school is the right choice for you. I also think that doing this could possibly ease some of your nerves about returning. 

How have you been taking care of your mental health and keeping anxiety at rest following all the events from the first week of the year?

“I haven’t.”

I totally get that. During a time like this, it’s hard to stay positive and happy. Here are some tips and tricks that might help you get through these tough times:

  • Try to get up early: even though it’s really hard to get out of bed when there is nothing to do, it helps you feel productive and like you have accomplished something.
  • Exercise: whatever you are capable of doing, just try to get active! Even if it’s just going for a walk around the block, exercise is calming and can help keep your mood up.
  • Journaling: it can be really helpful to get your feelings and anxiety out at the end of the day by simply writing it down.
  • Calling friends: it’s easy to feel disconnected with all of your concerns at hand, but call your friends! Stay in touch and let them know you care about them!
  • Cooking/cleaning: both of these are really calming and help to satisfy your need to fidget and move.

I have been doing all of these to try to stay calm when it’s tough. Although it is important to stay updated and educated on what’s going on in the world around you, it’s ok to take a break sometimes and get away from all of the bad energy and feelings that come from the events of 2020 and 2021. I wish the best for you and stay safe!