Disclaimer: This satirical article was written by a bisexual woman. 1. You’re “just really interested” in LGBTQ+ rights. Every time you were allowed to choose the topic of a school project,...

A recent study released by the Instagram account @soyouwanttotalkabout revealed that blindly republishing political content on social media and other forms of performative activism are more effective...

Paranoia, dejection, and despair ran rampant throughout the Friends Select community after numerous accounts of missing dollar bills came into the limelight. Never before has something so financially...

Friends Select School will replace its annual graduation ceremony with a homecoming dance in the basketball gym, said Dean of Students Norman Bayard in an email to families on Friday, April 9th.  “Although...

Senior class officers announced yesterday that this year’s prom will be based on the Despicable Me villain, Vector. “With all the pandemic-induced restrictions on school events this year, we really...

As high school students, we must ensure that we nurture our delicate minds. Studies show that well-rested students have increased focus, mood, and overall academic performance. One might suggest that...

According to the FBI, a warrant was issued this morning for the arrest of Sassy, FSS biology teacher Perry Zanki’s tabby cat. The bureau’s director reported that Sassy seems to have moved on from...

In high school, the most effective way to demonstrate proficiency in yearlong course content is to sit for final exams. Research has proved that cramming is the best method to study for students. Recent...

Students and teachers alike were shocked when the Rupertus family revealed that their oldest child, a star student and bibliophile extraordinaire, Annie Rupertus ‘21, does not know how to read. Annie...

As COVID-19 cases rise, anti-maskers around the country have faced more frequent and intense discrimination, according to several recent reports. A recent tragedy in Texas is the last example of this...

The Friends Select administration released a statement on Monday to do away with the “unnecessary” asynchronous Wednesday.  Upper School Director Chris Singler’s statement says: “We have...